Post 1: After sharing the story of one friend who experienced the radical hope of life in the birth of twins, I also shared the story of another who experienced the radical pain of loss in the death of twins. I asked the question; “Where is God in the midst of
tragic death and enlivening hope?”
Post 2: Examining the characteristics of God through the narrative of Scripture (Covenant, Prophets, Jesus), I argued that suffering is central to the Story of God. If we deny the reality of suffering, we deny the Story itself…such is the Entangled Theology we live in today.
Today I conclude by sharing what it means to live in the tension of an Entangled Theology in the everyday of my own life.
My wife and I lost our first child (who for a number of reasons we named Haven) just over 15 months ago. It was the most painful experience of both of our lives. Just over four months ago, we welcomed our daughter Ruby into our family. It has been the most joyous experience of our lives. Some may conclude (and even say this to us!), that the pain of losing Haven is lessened by welcoming the life of Ruby. That simply hasn’t been the case. I dedicated my recent book to Haven:
“I dedicate this book to my first child, Haven. I never had the opportunity to meet you, but you allowed me to experience love in a way more profound than I had ever otherwise known. Your mother and I are proud of you and look forward to the day we meet you when all is restored. ”
As parents, we will always feel the pain of losing Haven. As each day passes, the pain shows itself in different ways, but it doesn’t magically go away. We don’t know why it happened or why it happened to us. But it did and that is the Story we trust to be true.
With all that said, Ruby does represent hope and restoration in our lives. She is the work of a God that not only acted in history, but who continues to act in the lives of his people today. It is in her eyes that we see the lives of both of our childr
en and we are filled with gratitude.
My grandma is 93 years old and her body has been breaking down for a couple years, but especially in the past couple months. She loves Jesus and is self admittedly ready to be with him. Her days are often depressing as she knows death is around the corner. We (especially Janny and Ruby) have been trying to visit her as often as possible as she lies in a foreign hospital bed. Often, we will look into the room before she sees us and see her visible distress and depression. As she slowly looks up and catches eyes with Ruby, her whole disposition changes. It is sacred ground. We see two of God’s children; one who is soon to leave the earth and the other a new arrival. My grandma recently said to Ruby, “You just came from heaven, please tell me about it because I’ll be there soon.”
On the eve of impending death, new life (in the form of Ruby) brings a transcendent hope.
In the Story of God, death/pain stand side by side with life/hope. This in an Entangled Theology.
Thoughts? Anyone else experience this dynamic of an Entangled Theology?
(There were a few tears that made me pause when I was reading this post.)
How sweet it is to know God – and to know about His love in this way. Thank you for sharing.
I appreciate the sincerity of your heart… as I enjoyed reading this post very much!
This post made me cry….thanks for sharing and for the reminder that God has a story for each of us
This is so true! Thank you for your clear writing on such a hard & complicated reality.
My husband & I know the similar pain of live & death that you know.
This Sunday marks the 6 year anniversary of when we found out that our first child had a fatal brain birth defect. We were so excited about that beautiful baby. We had no idea what news would be coming to us that day when we were in the Ultra sound room.
But, the life we had with him, for the rest our pregnancy & then until a few minutes after his birth, were exactly that “entangled theology” – a bittersweetness. His life & death will always be a memory of bittersweet for us. We learned so much from his life about the power of true love & peace from Jesus. Death is awful. But, even now as we live, knowing death will come, we can still see that Jesus is the victor. He triumphed over the grave!
I just wrote on this topic today as we watch my grandpa struggle for life in the ICU. A large topic, many thoughts, many questions and thoughts pop up. I dished a bunch out in my blog post as well.
http://jennyplumbblog.blogspot.com/2011/02/staring-death-in-face.html
Rozina and Melissa, glad that our story connects with you in a way that points back to God’s story. I didn’t mean to initiate tears!
Wow, Erin…that is an Entangled Theology, indeed. Thanks for sharing and adding to this much needed conversation. “Bittersweetness” – I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Jon,
Thanks for sharing these thoughts. I agree, this is something which isn’t talked about as much as it should be. I haven’t been prolific on sharing my thoughts but have posted a few reflections based on the experiences my wife and I have shared. (Once shortly after our daughter’s birth and death and another 9 months later).
I also appreciate the ambiguous and unsettled nature of the term “entangled theology”.
Peace,
Laryn
@kragtbakker