I’ve been taking some really tangible steps in my own personal journey toward becoming a Human-BEING rather than a Human-DOING. For me, and how I’ve been created (and conditioned), doing less and being more is really, REALLY hard.
It’s easy for me to default to task lists and self-imposed to-do’s. At its best, it’s a function of deep conviction and meaningful contribution. At its worst, it’s a function of deep brokenness and misplaced identity.
It’s much harder for me to choose to simply be present to what’s right in front of me. To sit on the floor and play with my kiddos without thinking about work, checking my phone or seeing them as a chore. To sit in silence and stillness for a few minutes before opening my computer to tackle the to-do’s. To say NO to stuff that is really good, but not mine to do. To have the margin in my life that allows for “holy interruptions” rather than “annoying distractions.”
Last week, I said no to an opportunity I can’t fathom saying no to 10 years ago (or even 5 years ago!). An opportunity I could have only dreamed of back then. It was hard. It took discernment. It took listening to really honest feedback from my closest community. It took swallowing my pride and listening to the Spirit. It took a new kind of trust that the most important work I can do is not fixing the world “out there,” but deep diving into the beauty and brokenness in me.
Today, I sit in our local coffee shop with a big, goofy smile on my face. And for no other reason than I’m grateful to be alive. I’m grateful for the random friends who walk through these doors…who over many years have become my “office-mates.” I’m grateful to have the opportunity to work at a reasonable pace rather than an impossible one. I’m grateful my shoulders are less tense and my mind at ease.
Moving from DOING to BEING will be a life long journey for me, but the more I’m stumble toward it, the more the goodness of life turns 3D. A goodness that has always been here, but I often haven’t had the eyes (or time) to see. There is color, joy, pain, tears and hope.
That’s some pretty personal stuff, friends. But, maybe, some of you can relate and find hope in this journey too. Or not. Either way, it’s mine and I’m grateful to be on it.
I relate oh so well… at least on the struggling part. Working towards the healthy practicing part. Thanks for sharing.