After Monday’s post, I am realized that my approach to “Part 2” was going to need to change form a bit. I had numerous people contact me through personal email and social media with their story. It blows my mind how many have endured the death of a child, yet our Christian culture speaks so little into its reality. We eagerly celebrate the life of a newborn, yet rarely acknowledge the lasting pain of loss in the life of one who didn’t make it. This deserves a lot more attention, which I will not offer in this series of posts. For now, if you are looking for a systematic/rational “answer” to the mystery of life/death as presented in Part 1, you might as well stop reading now. In fact, I have tried to seek that answer over the past couple years and I have found it will continue to leave me wanting. Further, I believe it strays from the heart of a relational God and the mystery of His ongoing Story.
With that said, I believe there are theological insights that can give us a glimpse into this mystery. Further, I believe those glimpses are best presented from a variety of voices in conversation. If you have experienced loss or if you have insight into this mystery, please join the conversation. We need to hear from you. Here is a slice (extremely condensed!) of my part of the theological conversation:
Suffering is central to the Story of God. If we deny the reality of suffering, we deny the very story we have chosen to participate within. In this light, I will highlight three aspects/stages of the Story: Covenant, Prophets and Jesus.
Covenant
YHWH (the LORD) entered a covenant relationship with his people early in the Story. Beginning with Noah (Gen. 9), building momentum with Abraham (Gen.12-17) and played out time and time again in Moses, YHWH committed to his people and they (although often failing) committed to him. Each time YHWH’s people would enter exile and suffering, he would remember the covenant and deliver them. Such a covenant relationship has been extended to all those that choose to be part of His Story today. The God that remembered his people in the past, remembers his people today.
Prophets
In the midst
of exile and suffering, God’s people knew how to weep. They not only wept on behalf of the people’s tragic situation, they wept on behalf of God’s heartbreak for his people. The Prophets wept over what could have been and the wept for the hope of the future to be made real now. Thought to have been written by the prophet Jeremiah, Lamentations was set in the 500’s B.C. during a time of Babylonian exile and is made up of 5 poems describing the tragic situation of the Israelites and Jerusalem. Yes, the book is lined with hope, but it is filled with tears. In a culture that tells us (directly and indirectly) to “get over it” and move on, we can’t feel ashamed to sit in the pain of suffering and loss. In fact, it is when we don’t allow ourselves to feel the pain (grieve), that we lose touch with the heart of God.
Jesus: Where God’s solidarity with humanity is revealed
God could have physically overthrown all the powers of oppression, but instead he chose to take the path that would require mourning/sorrow/grief. It was in Jesus’ weeping and death that God most connected with humanity; such is the sacred nature of pain/sorrow. We become the most connected with our humanity and God’s standing in solidarity with us in the midst of the pain.
We know the hope is coming, but we can’t force it to come. We know it was three days for Jesus, but it may be a lot more in our reality.
Some days the pain of losing our child is worse than others, but every day we feel the pain.
We are to be a people, who in both pain and hope, remember that the God that worked in history, is still at work today.
Entangled Theology
I recently listened to Rob Bell use the expression “Entangled Theology.” It can be articulated by arguing that great hope sits side by side with pain. Such a theology has to live with both doubt and hope. He went on to say that we often make gods out of certainty, but when destruction comes upon us we have to be able to live and reside within an “Entangled Theology.”
What has been your experience of pain/loss? How have you dealt with the reality of God existing both in the loss and the hope? Please join the conversation as it is one that our culture desperately needs to have.
Somehow I have escaped the pain of child loss. I think I am in the minority on that one.
I was pleased, however, to see a miscarriage included in a movie “Me & Marley”. My kids asked me about it and why did the little baby die. I was glad that it was woven into the story in a realistic way. I don’t want to crush their hearts, but I do want my kids to grow up knowing that suffering is a normal part of life. We don’t know why things happen, but we know that God cares. And I don’t want them to feel shame in the face of tragedy. I want them to know it’s part of life.
“Suffering is central to the Story of God. If we deny the reality of suffering, we deny the very story we have chosen to participate within.”
John, I really enjoyed reading your post. It caught my eye since just last night I was talking to somebody about suffering as part of our relationship with Christ and the growth and maturity it can do if handled correctly.
I am also reminded of the book “Heavenly Man” by Brother Yun who spent a majority of his early like in Chinese prisons because of his faith. Reading though that book I was amazed at the suffering and persecution he endured yet was jealous by Yun’s relationship to Christ and how God so powerfully expressed Himself to him. By the end of the book I realized that I couldn’t have that relationship with God unless I too was willing to suffer and be persecuted and even be killed for my faith.
While I can’t speak from experience yet… I believe that all the suffering and persecution is worth it if I am able to be used by God in powerful and righteous ways.
Linda, when you figure out how to have that conversation with your kids, make sure to pass the word and tell us how to do it!
Stephen, great perspective and much needed in this conversation. I am mainly discussing the pain of loss that we don’t “choose,” but your insight into a willingness of choosing suffering in following Jesus is a powerful insight. Sounds like an intriguing book.