Entangled Theology Part 2: Living w/the Pain of Death and Hope of Life

After Monday’s post, I am realized that my approach to “Part 2” was going to need to change form a bit.  I had numerous people contact me through personal email and social media with their story.  It blows my mind how many have endured the death of a child, yet our Christian culture speaks so little into its reality. We eagerly celebrate the life of a newborn, yet rarely acknowledge the lasting pain of loss in the life of one who didn’t make it.  This deserves a lot more attention, which I will not offer in this series of posts.  For now, if you are looking for a systematic/rational “answer” to the mystery of life/death as presented in Part 1, you might as well stop reading now.  In fact, I have tried to seek that answer over the past couple years and I have found it will continue to leave me wanting.  Further, I believe it strays from the heart of a relational God and the mystery of His ongoing Story.

With that said, I believe there are theological insights that can give us a glimpse into this mystery.  Further, I believe those glimpses are best presented from a variety of voices in conversation.  If you have experienced loss or if you have insight into this mystery, please join the conversation.  We need to hear from you.  Here is a slice (extremely condensed!) of my part of the theological conversation:

Suffering is central to the Story of God.  If we deny the reality of suffering, we deny the very story we have chosen to participate within. In this light, I will highlight three aspects/stages of the Story: Covenant, Prophets and Jesus.


YHWH (the LORD) entered a covenant relationship with his people early in the Story.  Beginning with Noah (Gen. 9), building momentum with Abraham (Gen.12-17) and played out time and time again in Moses, YHWH committed to his people and they (although often failing) committed to him.  Each time YHWH’s people would enter exile and suffering, he would remember the covenant and deliver them.  Such a covenant relationship has been extended to all those that choose to be part of His Story today.  The God that remembered his people in the past, remembers his people today.


In the midst of exile and suffering, God’s people knew how to weep.  They not only wept on behalf of the people’s tragic situation, they wept on behalf of God’s heartbreak for his people.  The Prophets wept over what could have been and the wept for the hope of the future to be made real now. Thought to have been written by the prophet Jeremiah, Lamentations was set in the 500’s B.C. during a time of Babylonian exile and is made up of 5 poems describing the tragic situation of the Israelites and Jerusalem.  Yes, the book is lined with hope, but it is filled with tears.  In a culture that tells us (directly and indirectly) to “get over it” and move on, we can’t feel ashamed to sit in the pain of suffering and loss.  In fact, it is when we don’t allow ourselves to feel the pain (grieve), that we lose touch with the heart of God.

Jesus: Where God’s solidarity with humanity is revealed

God could have physically overthrown all the powers of oppression, but instead he chose to take the path that would require mourning/sorrow/grief.  It was in Jesus’ weeping and death that God most connected with humanity; such is the sacred nature of pain/sorrow.  We become the most connected with our humanity and God’s standing in solidarity with us in the midst of the pain.

We know the hope is coming, but we can’t force it to come.  We know it was three days for Jesus, but it may be a lot more in our reality.

Some days the pain of losing our child is worse than others, but every day we feel the pain.

We are to be a people, who in both pain and hope, remember that the God that worked in history, is still at work today.

Entangled Theology

I recently listened to Rob Bell use the expression “Entangled Theology.” It can be articulated by arguing that great hope sits side by side with pain.  Such a theology has to live with both doubt and hope.  He went on to say that we often make gods out of certainty, but when destruction comes upon us we have to be able to live and reside within an “Entangled Theology.”

What has been your experience of pain/loss?  How have you dealt with the reality of God existing both in the loss and the hope?  Please join the conversation as it is one that our culture desperately needs to have.

Entangled Theology Part 1: Living w/the Pain of Death & Hope of Life

After years of disappointment, my friend and his wife finally got pregnant.  Not only did they get pregnant, they were pregnant with twins.  Their news came about the same time that Janny and I found out we were pregnant again after the loss of our first child.  We had both experienced the possible pain and disappointment of pregnancy and now we cautiously re-entered the terrifying waters.

He was in my Hebrew classes and every week when we’d first see each other, we would ask each other how our wives and children were doing (expecting the worst, while hoping for the best).  When we would hear, “things still look good,” we give each other a hug and jump back into our Hebrew study.

After asking the question one week, he looked down and said that his wife’s uterus wasn’t growing and the doctors were concerned that the babies wouldn’t make it to term.  My heart sunk and we both feared a replay of past loss.

A few months ago Janny and I got an email with a picture showing two healthy babies, a smiling mom and a relieved dad.  We were brought to tears.

I have another friend whose wife was pregnant with twins.  They were so fired up and excited about their growing family that they had even created a blog where they could share the progress.

At 19 weeks into the pregnancy, her water broke and they had no choice but to deliver their two boys.  They entered the world alive and both mom and dad were able to hold them in the palm of their hands for a couple hours.  There was no way to keep them alive, so after these short sacred moments together, they both past away.  We were brought to tears.

As I send and receive emails from both of these friends, I am struck by the contrast in their stories.  What do I say?  How do I respond?  Such incredibly different stories, yet they both love and serve the same God.

Janny and I have experienced both the pain of loss and the joy of new life.  When we share in these stories, both lead to tears.  But the tears represent two very different emotions and outcomes.

Where is God in this?  How do we move forward in the midst of such a tension?  We live with an “entangled theology…”

Note: I will post “Part 2” on Wednesday and “Part 3” on Friday.

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